Before you consider Divorce
Dr John Gottman has undertaken 30 years of research studying relationships. He says, “One of the saddest reasons a marriage dies is that neither spouse recognises its value until it’s too late. Only after the papers are signed, and household effects divided, do the Exes realise how much they actually gave up when they gave […]
How to communicate in a way that truly connects
Ever since I can remember, I’ve loved to write, to listen to stories and to capture them on paper. I lived a lot in my head, as I imagined the lives of fictitious characters and got caught up in their adventures and emotions. Because of that, I thought that I’d naturally be good at communication […]
Now’s the time to get a new relationship
You may be thinking “Did I hear you right?” Or “What planet are you on right now? We are in lockdown and you’re suggesting I get a new relationship?” Yes, you are hearing me right, and yes, I am still here on planet earth, fully aware of what is currently happening with Covid-19. We are […]
Our Open Door Policy for Communication
The house I grew up in had an unwritten and unspoken rule; we leave the doors open. This open-door policy was never directly enforced but our personal bedrooms were never shut off from the rest of the house. It was so normal that I never gave any thought to it until I left home and […]
Beginning again
It’s Jan 2020 and many of us are returning from the holidays into the rhythm of daily life. Some of us might be dreading the thought and some of us can’t wait to get back into it. Whether you’re coming back to a life you love, or one you dread the truth is that no […]
The secret to happiness
A couple of years ago there was an article in the Sunday Star Times headlined “What’s the secret to happiness ?” It caught my eye because everyone wants to know that answer, don’t they? After surveying 8500 teens, Auckland University researchers believe they found the answer. What do you think the answer was? It wasn’t […]
Show the love this Valentine’s Day
It’s Valentine’s Day today. This morning I thought I could offer you 5 ideas to show love to your partner. I have to say that these are not all my ideas – many of them I have borrowed from people who have been to our FamilyLife couples retreats, but I have tried some of them […]
Before you divorce….
Film star Zsa Zsa Gabor, said that 9 marriages had taught her a great deal about housekeeping. She said, “Every time I get divorced I keep the house.” Her comment might make us chuckle, but sadly, divorce is not in the least bit funny. Having been a child of divorce I know that it may […]
Complaint v Criticism
We are always likely to have various complaints about the person we are married to. When we live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, and live out daily life so intimately with another person, it’s just normal that we will upset and annoy each other. Deep down we might love each other […]
Make your differences work for you
The things that draw us together when dating and getting to know each other are often the very things that cause conflicts a few years into marriage. How can we love each other through the strengths and weaknesses our differences create? How do we embrace our differences? In our twenty-plus years of marriage, finances have […]